Taylorfofailure's blahg

Coincidence

A 17 year kid from California just finished his solo voyage around the world on a 32-ft sailboat he bought with his own money.  That was plastered everywhere from CNN to BBCnews last night.  Right on, kid.  Cuh-razy stuff, the weird thing is that during this past semester I set the same goal for myself without even knowing about him.  I even brought it up to some friends just the other day.  This Taylor Hanson-looking surfbum is my new temporary hero.  Granted, he grew up in a shipyard and his parents build boats, but the dude is 17 and just spent 13 MONTHS sailing around the world by himself.  Yeah, that means he was only 16 when he actually left Califorina and headed across the Pacific.  His ass suffered mechanical failures and a run-in with PIRATES.  I got the idea to sail the world while reading an appropriatley coined old book named “Sailing Alone Around the World” by Capt. Joshua Slocum.  His journey took several years longer and he did it without electricity and nobody really even cared too much.  Slocum completely overhauled a boat and then went off sailing one day and I guess wanted to take the thing around the block, and by block I mean the whole goddamn world.  There is also another kid who is EVEN YOUNGER than the california kid who is about to beat the record.  So I need to find a distinction so that I can hold a record for sailing around the world in some sort of capacity.  I really have no clue how to sail, but there’s always time to learn something new, unless you’re dead.  But for the time being, seeing as I’m not dead, I should probably finish the motorcycle, finish college, then die on the open sea..er, I mean…sail the world.   Here’s a list of possible record options for me…I think.

1.  First legally blind person to sail without corrective lenses?

2.  First person to sail the world alone, naked?

3.  First Person to sail around the world in reverse?

4.  First person to sail around the world and deny that the whole thing ever happened?

5.  First person to sail around the world starting off alone, but only to return 10 years later with the most raging party ever seen on a sail boat?  { 32 people on a sloop.  Me, Kyle, Dillon, 2 tortured Spanish artists, 1 Samoan farmer with a glass eye,  a pair of Vietnamese compulsive-gambling lesbians,  PRINCE (the artist who was once formerly known as but is once again known as), 3 overly-sensitive former Somalian pirates, a Rodney Dangerfield impersonator, a bushman, Pacman Jones (he makes it rain, duh. I need funding), Amanda (after we convince her to quit her job at a museum),  a Joy Division cover band, Chewbacca, a troupe of 4 amputee vaudeville performers, Poseidon, Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Morgan, Captain Kangaroo, Captain Planet (we all share the captain’s quarters), Alicia Keys, and Ip. }

I vote for the one without corrective lenses.

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