Taylorfofailure's blahg

Found something I wrote a while ago…

taylorfofailure — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 01:41:12 +0000

Ghost towns have no keep for the living.
Past gates of dust,
Doors swing in the gallows.
Chairs crowd the empty rooms.
A town carved from red, red sky.
Dark dresses and the setting sun,
Lacking words of wisdom.
Words lacking firm teeth.
The hot breeze carries them high.
Only animals walk the path the follows;
Beneath matching clouds and skies.
No time to stop,
It seems the road is ablaze.

Late night bike rides…

taylorfofailure — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 17:21:28 +0000

are without a doubt my favorite thing in the world. If it was dark all the time I would be one happy boy. The day time makes everything way less interesting anyways. You notice so much more at night. There are far fewer distractions and you’re forced to pay closer attention to most things in the dark. Plus people put their sprinklers on, and what’s better than riding your bike through sprinklers at 1 in the morning (well, maybe doing that at 3 in the morning). Last night I went for a ride for a few hours and went a completely different way home. I had no clue where I was going, but somehow I ended up in a place that looked really familiar so I stopped for a minute. It turned out that I was about 20 feet away from a place in the creek where I spent basically my entire post-7th and 8th grade summers. Pretty kool, made my night for a few minutes. Buy a bike, ride it at night.

Another “Taylor” kind of day

taylorfofailure — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 01:13:11 +0000

Music brings people together. I think, at least. For the most part? Ok, well maybe that philosophy has changed over time. It has a tendency to make people kind of suck. Not that most people need any help sucking, but throw in some overly-opinionated attitude in a musical discrepancy and I want to drop dead from douche-chills. I really have no room to talk though, everyone nowadays is guilty of this anyways. I guess there’s a duality in everything though :/ If music unites, then it also has to divide. That’s physics right? But music in itself has become nothing but a pretentious attempt to be noticed. I think this is why I can never take myself seriously as a musician. Quintus has always said that I’m the least motivated musician that he knows, not in a mean way mind you. And to tell you the truth, I’m pretty proud of that. I feel like it’s because I know I can’t/won’t accomplish anything “worthwhile” with my music, I’m just being realistic. I’m not out to get signed to a label and I’m not playing so I can talk to girls on myspace. I play music when I genuinely feel like it and I write words to it that I would say in a shrink’s office. Music is a bad habit for me. Thank god Alex writes most of the tunes.

And dammit, I need to take some acting classes on how to look happy or something, because I really just can’t seem to do it on my own. At work today, again, someone called me out on it. Someone jokingly asked me where Steven gets his “happy pills” because he’s always so upbeat. So I responded “HA, wish I knew.” The response to this from my coworker was “But depression looks so much better on you, sweetie.” Bleh

I’m so tired and lazy…

taylorfofailure — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 07:12:59 +0000

that i’m just gonna post Exploding Hearts lyrics here from now on. They’re dead though so it’s totally ok.

I’m a pretender at the game of love,
Need somebody help me shatter my heart.
I’m a pretender at the game of love,
Need somebody help me shatter my foolish heart.

21 and it ain’t no fun,
My life’s going by but it’s just begun.
I’m searchin’ and searchin’ and I’m lookin’ around,
Ain’t gonna cry cuz there’s no one to be found.

I’m a pretender at the game of love,
Need somebody help me shatter my heart.
I’m a pretender at the game of love,
Need somebody help me shatter my foolish heart.

Took ya down to the avenue,
Weather was cool, so I bought you some food.
But I got so nervous when you asked me to come home,
Went in my house and spent the night all alone.

I’m a pretender at the game of love,
Need somebody help me shatter my heart.
I’m a pretender at the game of love,
Need somebody help me shatter my foolish heart.

I know, when you’re a pretender,
Your mind’s wild from the start.
Just gimme one chance baby,
Help me shadow my heart.
Gimme one chance baby,
Help me shatter my heart.

Just won’t cry cuz my life’s goin’ by,
I’ll find someone before the day I die.
Gimme a chance and show me what to do,
Couple a minutes I’ll be doing’ it with you.

But I’ll actually write something later today. I have to take Panduh to the airport and Kyle and Ip are still gone. Mehhhh

Some people…

taylorfofailure — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 05:15:28 +0000

know me all too well. I’m so predictably “Taylor” to those that know me it’s almost stupid. It’s weird when 2 different people who don’t even know each other and have seen 2 completely different sides of the same person have the same questions and concerns.

Story of the Day:

So I worked 2-10:30 today, ok. I hate that shift. It tears me apart from the inside and says “Taylor, when I am done with you, you will be a broken, cowering animal covered in meat juices and sanitizer. AND THEN… I will just take a big dump on you and remind you that you live kind of far away from work and I will waste your gas.” Anyways, I get to work and I sit down in the breakroom where a fellow employee of the mentally retarded persuasion (literally, I’m not just being a rudey McRude douche) walks in and sees the disdain on my face. He says “You look sad, why you sad?” then proceeds to play with his iphone. Wow, I must have looked pretty goshdarn depressed, but apparently I look like that all the time. I clock in and tell my shift lead that I am quitting in a month, so naturally she gets a little pissy and doesn’t talk to me for a while. Then another girl overhears this and she tackles me and tries to slit my throat with a cheese knife. Little did I know that she has been in love with me for the past week and now can’t stand to see me go in a month. Luckily, I was able to fling her off and suffocate her (not to death, just KO) using the shrink-wrap despenser. I hid her in the walk in fridge for the meantime, behind a bucket of pickles. After that, I went about my usual shift running around with a dazed look on my face wishing time would go by faster and faking a smile to customers. I had to work with K***n (rhymes with KEVIN) and he kind of annoys the hell out of me. I don’t know whether it’s the bossing me around part or the excessive paranoid appologies for having bossed me around 3 seconds before. Well eventually I got fed up with this, a little bit after my break, around 7 pm. So I pull K***n aside, see, and I waterboard his ass. YEAH, waterboarded him right there in the middle of the deli. I told him to look behind the pickle bucket and if he didn’t shut up he would end up there too. Needless to say, K***n didn’t say much to me the rest of the night. In fact, he cried. He cried like Lance Armstrong did when he realized he just wasn’t good enough. However, K***n’s balls were not done getting busted. The assistant food service manager apparently likes to laughingly mock K***n and write him up after he snaps at her. I thought it was funny atleast. The dude is a little fragile up top, so tonight he couldn’t take anymore. When she nagged and nagged and mocked him, he looked at her and said “Bitch, how do you wanna be sliced, shaved or sandwich style?!” She didn’t have a choice as K***n proceeded to slice her to pieces (sandwich style). It was pretty messy. During his bloody melee, I figured my work day was pretty much done. I then ate the last slice of pizza in the kitchen before K***n could get to it and I promptly left work. K***n saw me on the way out the door and said “See ya tomorrow,” I winced.

Disclaimer: Some of this story was fictionalized, some was true. Just sayin

Coincidence

taylorfofailure — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 17:45:42 +0000

A 17 year kid from California just finished his solo voyage around the world on a 32-ft sailboat he bought with his own money. That was plastered everywhere from CNN to BBCnews last night. Right on, kid. Cuh-razy stuff, the weird thing is that during this past semester I set the same goal for myself without even knowing about him. I even brought it up to some friends just the other day. This Taylor Hanson-looking surfbum is my new temporary hero. Granted, he grew up in a shipyard and his parents build boats, but the dude is 17 and just spent 13 MONTHS sailing around the world by himself. Yeah, that means he was only 16 when he actually left Califorina and headed across the Pacific. His ass suffered mechanical failures and a run-in with PIRATES. I got the idea to sail the world while reading an appropriatley coined old book named “Sailing Alone Around the World” by Capt. Joshua Slocum. His journey took several years longer and he did it without electricity and nobody really even cared too much. Slocum completely overhauled a boat and then went off sailing one day and I guess wanted to take the thing around the block, and by block I mean the whole goddamn world. There is also another kid who is EVEN YOUNGER than the california kid who is about to beat the record. So I need to find a distinction so that I can hold a record for sailing around the world in some sort of capacity. I really have no clue how to sail, but there’s always time to learn something new, unless you’re dead. But for the time being, seeing as I’m not dead, I should probably finish the motorcycle, finish college, then die on the open sea..er, I mean…sail the world. Here’s a list of possible record options for me…I think.

1. First legally blind person to sail without corrective lenses?

2. First person to sail the world alone, naked?

3. First Person to sail around the world in reverse?

4. First person to sail around the world and deny that the whole thing ever happened?

5. First person to sail around the world starting off alone, but only to return 10 years later with the most raging party ever seen on a sail boat? { 32 people on a sloop. Me, Kyle, Dillon, 2 tortured Spanish artists, 1 Samoan farmer with a glass eye, a pair of Vietnamese compulsive-gambling lesbians, PRINCE (the artist who was once formerly known as but is once again known as), 3 overly-sensitive former Somalian pirates, a Rodney Dangerfield impersonator, a bushman, Pacman Jones (he makes it rain, duh. I need funding), Amanda (after we convince her to quit her job at a museum), a Joy Division cover band, Chewbacca, a troupe of 4 amputee vaudeville performers, Poseidon, Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Morgan, Captain Kangaroo, Captain Planet (we all share the captain’s quarters), Alicia Keys, and Ip. }

I vote for the one without corrective lenses.

Making Believe

taylorfofailure — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 21:06:00 +0000

When you’re an adult, does pretending for the purpose of fun make you { A.) a liar / B.) a crazy / C.) Peter Pan / D.) All of the above }? Honestly, it really doesn’t matter because I’m already all 3 of those.

I am frequently accused of being a liar, due to my often eye-rolling “just kidding” moments that I like to toss around throughout the day. Buttttt then again SOME PEOPLE just like to play around with accusations like David Duchovny would play with himself in an Eastern European red-light district.

The last blog post rounds out option B., seeing as I am under the current impression that I am in fact crazy, or a hypocondriac.

I’m short and I’m terrified of the future, which I guess you could say means that I never want to grow up. I also have a thing for swordplay while wearing a green “smock/frock/tunic” thing. And goddamn, don’t even get me started on how I feel about deeply closeted, handlebar mustache sporting, mid-life crisis encountering, Dustin Hoffman looking, Robin Williams fighting, Rufio stabbing, pirates.

I’m gonna go watch Hook now.

BANGARANG, bitches

I have…

taylorfofailure — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 05:31:26 +0000

lost my mind. If anybody finds it, don’t bother returning it. I’m probably better off without it. It’s not like it’s the first time this has happened, but this time my head ran away and didn’t leave a note or an explanation. MEH…

So, Wednesdia the 15th of JOOly, in the year of the Dark Lord 2009:

-Woke up kyle and found out that I almost froze to death in part to a generous decision he made for my well-being.

-Watched Spongebob with Kyle.

-Picked up Amanda from school.

-Made stupid driving mistakes because that’s what I do now that I can’t ever think straight.

-Annoyed Amanda.

-French Toast supplies at Target.

-Made French Toast and watched One Life to Live.

-Pretended to deep throat things and gag, making Kyle giggle.

-Annoyed Amanda.

-Realized that “it’s 5 o’clock somewhere.”

-Started driving back home with Kyle.

-Had to turn around due to another mental lapse, I forgot everything I own at Amanda’s.

-Watched Chapelle’s show exerpts and laughed at PCP jokes.

-Went home and made sweet love to my family.

-Ate fake chicken, realized I’m tired of fake meat as well. Thanks deli.

-Went for a bike ride and saw Ipper outside cleaning out his trunk.

-Discussed True Blood and the major Visa screw-up today with the whole 23 quadrillion dollar statement thing.

-Rode my bike home singing the Yeah Yeah Yeahs to all of my sleeping neighbors.

-Realized it’s 5 o’clock somewhere and I have work in the morning.

-Died from excessive recapping of the day.

Byyyyyy the way… I have been seeing shit that is totally not real while I’ve been driving at night the past few weeks. So far I’ve seen phantom small animals like coyotes run across the road, a large boat in the middle of Custer, and an imaginary Discount Tire sign. None of thems was real.